Hazel
Welcome to the third event for the Golden Honor Inaugural Cup! And as always, we have something new!
Fisher
That’s right, this is our first team event! That means only team members are competing in this miniseries, and these are the racers you will be seeing most often.
Hazel
Let’s go over the basic event rules though, as per usual we have new stuff to cover:
EVENT RULES
- AS ALL THINGS SHOULD BE: This is a mixed-spec race. Racers use the stats for GT4, GT5 BOP, and GT6 BOP.
- HEATED WHEELS: All racers go FLAT OUT each turn but gain no Focus. Course trajectory is laid out after the roll is made, and caution results are still observed.
- NON-ALCOHOLIC: This race is for fun and not meant to be too serious. Rules judgement and enforcement is relaxed accordingly.
- SEASONED FRIES: This event is worth Season Points, based on placement at the end of the race.
Fisher
We’re going to be using Season Points (SP) to track team progress and unlock perks and who knows what else. You’ll see SP tracked on score sheets and in result reports. Here’s the board at the beginning of the race:
Hazel
This is our first time at Tour de Tabletop! We’ve been decorating though, and the racers today had their starting order randomly generated and the team flags are laid out in that order. Let’s take a closer look at who’s racing!
STARTING POSITIONS
- Pumped Up Kits – Jacob ‘Have Mercy’ Ballard in the green Aston Martin DB5 (GT5)
- Baby Got Track – Merle ‘Mule’ Hastings in the yellow Porsche 911 (GT6)
- Not Fast But Furious – Lauren ‘Swagger’ Quinn in the red Alfa Romeo Giulia (GT-4)
- Race Ventura – Leon Wheeler in the purple Volvo P1800 (GT-4)
- Kickin Assphalt – Peter ‘Devil’ Hill in the blue Bentley Continental (GT6)
- Van Hailin’ – Jordan ‘Hammer’ Cox in the orange Mercedes 300 SL (GT-5)
Fisher
Those are some great logos someone put together!
Hazel
You did great, bro! It’s worth noting that in the name of science the teams have a mix of specs here at Tour de Tabletop, but at Candlekeep Cove all teams are using the same stats. We’ll see if spec dictates season success!
Fisher
As far as BMG is concerned, races at Tour de Tabletop have the same impact as races at Candlekeep Cove. Both arena have different strengths and weaknesses, and we’ll try to focus more on the former.
Hazel
And we’re going to see some of those high-points in this event. Because we have the tracks premade, we thought a tour though the core box would make for quite a spectacle!
Fisher
This means First Blood is an 8 race miniseries, so we may not see every turn of every race, but the score sheets will be posted complete. Or maybe it’s easier to take screenshots than use a camera phone, we’ll see!
Hazel
Who calls them camera phones anymore? Just the guy who used to have a pager?
Fisher
Let’s get to that racing already!
TOUR DE TABLETOP VIRTUAL SPEEDWAY – CORE TRACK 1 (ASPHALT – DRY)
Round 1
Hazel
And starting us off first is Jacob ‘Have Mercy’ Ballard in the Aston Martin DB5.
Fisher
The DB5 is a GT-5 in Rallyman terms, meaning Have Mercy caps out at 5th gear, but has a Boost Die.
Hazel
A caution in 3rd gear, but an excellent line through the first corner!
Fisher
And Merle ‘Mule’ Hastings in the Porsche 911 pulls up into a strategic position behind Have Mercy, hoping that higher gear will let him jockey forward next turn.
Hazel
Mule is yellow team’s GT-6, which is the ‘out of the box’ experience for Rallyman GT.
Fisher
And fully blocking off Corner 1 is Lauren ‘Swagger’ Quinn in the Alfa Romeo Giulia! It’s almost like we didn’t learn from our previous two-lane experience!
Hazel
Maybe with all those coast dice the GT-4 can get out ahead?
Fisher
You know who’s not getting ahead? Leon Wheeler in the Volvo P1800.
Hazel
Wheeler is in a GT-4 as well, but those coast dice aren’t doing him any good right now.
Fisher
Peter ‘Devil’ Hill in the Bentley Continental looking to see if that 4th gear will be of any help.
Hazel
Devil is the other GT-6, so maybe we’ll see that 6th gear before the miniseries is through!
Fisher
last to move in Round 1 is Jordan ‘Hammer’ Cox in the Mercedes 300 SL.
Hazel
Last to move, the GT-5 at least has a boost dice to try and get through the parking lot next turn.
Fisher
And now that we have some momentum going… commercial break! We’ll be back!
Round 2
Hazel
And we’re back! Now, we just played a DIRT rally, so as a reminder, in GT you determine movement order based on Gear first.
Fisher
Which has some unfortunate side effects here. Highest gear is Devil and Hammer both at 4th and both blocked. Hammer has better placement so goes first…
Hazel
And Devil next, both keeping their gear to try and make up for it next turn. Don’t worry, we put in a request to Commissioner C on what to do about these tracks.
Fisher
I love that we have an adult to make decisions so we don’t have to!
Hazel
Let’s watch this parking lot disperse! Swagger has placement over Mule so she’ll go first.
Fisher
And what a move, soaring right through Corner 2 in 3rd!
Hazel
Mule isn’t gonna be showed up though, getting one caution and just bearing down on Swagger!
Fisher
Wheeler not to be outdone brings his Volvo right even with the Porsche.
Hazel
Have Mercy got to move an entire space and the same number of gears!
Round 3
Fisher
Leon Wheeler has the absolutely best placement to ask for, being free to move first and having a wide open track ahead!
Hazel
Wheeler almost takes Swagger’s nose off on that turn, getting a caution braking on the corner AND in 3rd, but using the wide open corner to get all the way to Corner 3!
Fisher
Mule gets two cautions as well, but gets into a great position to overtake Wheeler!
Hazel
Hammer takes a RISKY braking maneuver to overtake Have Mercy and maintaining 4th gear!
Fisher
The Bently rounding the corner and not doing anything else. I hope they brought a book to read!
Hazel
Swagger makes a relatively clean corner and I can’t help but to notice the track is starting to open up!
Fisher
The DB5 isn’t out of it yet, having some lanes to dance through and a Boost die, Have Mercy is right next to Swagger!
But first a word from our sponsors! We’ll be back!
And we’re back, live!
Round 4
Hazel
Welcome back to the conclusion to First Blood Part I! We’ve got a lot of track to cover today, so let’s get back asphalt-side!
Fisher
Merle ‘Mule’ Hastings bringing our attention back with two cautions and easing down to 2nd, but really setting up a good attempt at the Final Corner!
Hazel
Have Mercy playing catchup, hoping to overtake the Mule or at least block some opposition.
Fisher
Three cars all in 3rd Gear means Wheeler, Swagger, and Hammer are all going now, in that order.
Hazel
Wheeler out ahead but in 1st gear!
Fisher
Swagger blocking it all up!
Hazel
Hammer and Devil bringing up the rear!
Round 5
Fisher
Hammer had the right idea ending in 5th gear, so he goes first to close that gap!
Hazel
Mule is trying something complicated… with so few dice, he’s hitting the corner too hard to get a loss of control in second, which just stops his movement and sets his Gear to 0. We’ll have to see if this gamble pays off next turn after the parking lot catching up.
Fisher
Not afraid to take an opening, Have Mercy takes advantage of the Mule being out of his way and brakes down to 1st to scoot by and take the lead with 5th gear!
Hazel
Putting those coast dice to use, Swagger makes use of coast dice and the Mule’s opening to get up to 4th.
Fisher
Devil is still in this, enjoying some open track.
Hazel
And Leon not moving far but still in a great position!
Round 6
Fisher
Devil still playing catch up, with a caution on the brake he makes it through the corner and squared up with the next!
Hazel
And Have mercy with a daring corner but great use of Boost die!
Fisher
Swagger with a easy glide down to 1st Gear to be in 2nd position!
Hazel
And Wheeler ties it up, the GT-4 matching it’s twin.
Fisher
Hammer in that Mercedes 300 SL isn’t done yet!
Hazel
Last but not least: Mule!
Round 7
Fisher
And Merle in the Porsche will go first! Not that he could go far…
Hazel
It’s really looking like Have Mercy will be the one top o beat, taking the actual Final Corner with ease!
Fisher
Not so fast, but even more furious is Swagger!
Hazel
It just goes to show you how those fast lanes can really make a difference, as Leon is right there at the end!
Fisher
Hammer and Devil still in the rear, but Hammer is just barellllly beating out the Mule!
Round 8
Hazel
Devil is in the highest gear, so he gets a chance to even things up, but it’s a short trip.
Fisher
I’m not a gambling man, but if I were I would bet on Green right now.
Hazel
With one space from the finish line and in Gear 5 to prevent being overtaken by let’s say a GT-4 like Swagger?
Fisher
So you agree you like my odds?
Hazel
With Wheeler locking down the grid, I think you might be right but we don’t have long to wait to find out at least.
Fisher
And true to his name, the stubborn Mule isn’t giving up yet!
Round 9
Hazel
This is why we’re supposed to do predictions first, but we have a winner!
Fisher
It’s official, Jacob ‘Have Mercy’ Ballard in the Aston Martin DB5 has taken 1st place in FIRST BLOOD PART I! I knew it!
Hazel
Let’s see how the rest do though, since everyone participating gets Season Points based on how they finish here.
Fisher
Leon Wheeler in second, being on the inside he moves before Swagger, but isn’t able to hit the finish line at a higher speed and does not take the trophy from Leon. Also, both drivers finished with two caution flags each, just bearing down on that checkered flag.
Hazel
Lauren makes it look easy though, with Red Team taking third with just clean racing.
Fish
Hammer just getting to the end and will need to finish next round, just missing the cutoff by one space, yikessssss.
Hazel
Let’s not forget the Devil is in the details of the standings, moving up but far too late.
Round 10
Fisher
And the Hammer with a STRONG 4th place finish. I really think a little wider track would help with this.
Hazel
Hammer in 5th takes 4th, Mule kicks up to 5th to take 5th.
Fisher
A valiant effort from Devil, but it’s still only going to get him 6th.
WINNERS CIRCLE
Hazel:
And that’s our first TEAM event! Let’s check out the standings:
- Pumped Up Kits – Jacob ‘Have Mercy’ Ballard in the green Aston Martin DB5 (GT5) – 25 Season Points
- Race Ventura – Leon Wheeler in the purple Volvo P1800 (GT-4) – 18 Season Points
- Not Fast But Furious – Lauren ‘Swagger’ Quinn in the red Alfa Romeo Giulia (GT-4) – 15 Season Points
- Van Hailin’ – Jordan ‘Hammer’ Cox in the orange Mercedes 300 SL (GT-5) – 12 Season Points
- Baby Got Track – Merle ‘Mule’ Hastings in the yellow Porsche 911 (GT6) – 10 Season Points
- Kickin Assphalt – Peter ‘Devil’ Hill in the blue Bentley Continental (GT6) – 8 Season Points
Fisher
Devil’s time looks weird, but I think we’re getting the hang of this.
Hazel
PLEASE if you have suggestions on how we can do better, please comment!
Fisher
You know what comes after First Blood Part I, right?
Hazel
First Blood Part II?
Fish
Yup! We’re letting Commissioner C check the tapes about the timing and lanes, and then we’ll be back for the sequel!