Team Event: Cold Pursuit Special Stage 1

Hazel:

It’s all come down to this!

Fisher:

That’s right, the final battle for the Cold-Hearted Cup!

Hazel:

To finish off the 2023 season we have our first actual DIRT Rally!

Fisher:

This Rally is broken into three separate Special Stages, with placement from one deciding starting position of the next.

Hazel:

Special Stage 1 looks to be both short AND sweet.

Fisher:

Especially with that Assistance tile at the end. Unlike that last F1 race, Pit Stops are NOT an option. If you break your sleigh, it stays that way.

Hazel:

Driver’s do have a Spare Tire they can pull over and swap to replace a damaged Coast/Leader die though.

Fisher:

Right. But otherwise, they continue on, with placement in Stage 1 setting starting position for Stage 2 and so on.

Hazel:

Season Points will be awarded at the end of each stage, but current points won’t determine starting positions within the rally.

EVENT RULES

• AS ALL THINGS SHOULD BE: This is a mixed spec race. Racers use the stats for GT4, GT5 BOP, and GT6 BOP. Or R4, R5, and R6.
• HEATED WHEELS: All racers go FLAT OUT each turn but gain no Focus. Course trajectory is laid out after the roll is made, and caution results are still observed.
• NON-ALCOHOLIC: This race is for fun and not meant to be too serious. Rules judgement and enforcement is relaxed accordingly. 
• OFF TRACK: We’re using DIRT rules (and damage tokens) instead of GT and Staged Racing priority.
• SEASONED FRIES: This event is worth Season Points, based on placement at the end of the race.

STARTING POSITIONS

1. Pumped Up Kits (Green) – Will ‘the Viper’ Pace in the green MG Metro 6R4 (R5)
2. Race Ventura (Purple) – Avril ‘Bombardment’ Lawson in the purple Ford Escort MkII (R4)
3. Not Fast But Furious (Red) – Frederick ‘Blowhard’ William in the red Fiat 131 Abarth (R4)
4. Kickin Assphalt (Blue) – Alva Sullivan in the blue Ford Fiesta WRC (R6)
5. Van Hailin’ (Orange) – Abraham ‘Annex’ Perkins in the orange Toyota Celica TwinCam Turbo (R5)
6. Baby Got Track (Yellow) – Daryl ‘Merciless’ Hill in the yellow Toyota Yaris WRC (R6)

HAYFORD HEIGHTS – RALLY 1: SPECIAL STAGE 1 (GRAVEL – DRY)

Round 1

Fisher:

Pumped Up Kits won the 2022 Chasing Paper Cup, and so far have been pretty consistent in keeping the lead. Do you think we’re going to see a repeat this year?

Hazel:

We could! Something to consider, however, is a lot of that work was done by team captain Jacob ‘Have Mercy’s Ballard in his Aston Martin DB5. That’s not who’s on the track today.

Fisher:

Excellent point. Because this is a DIRT Rally, were not seeing the usual team captains. Today’s racer for Pumped Up Kits is Will ‘the Viper’ Pace.

Hazel:

If the name Will Pace sounds familiar, you’ve propably seen him on WOAD-TV Channel 54, where he’s a first-on-scene reporter.

Fisher:

And he’s first on scene here as well, taking advantage of this Rally’s staggered start to get out ahead and take his MG sailing through these drifts.

Round 2

Hazel:

Unlike our typical GT races, first over the white line doesn’t mean you’ve won. The racers are spread out so they won’t be bottle-necking each other. This is a technical race, and times will be compared once everyone has finished.

Fisher:

So, it’s still the fastest — not the first — who takes home the cake.

Hazel:

You’re always so food-motivated.

Fisher:

I learned that from Sygfried.

Hazel:

No you did not.

Fisher:

ANYWAY, joining Will Pace on the track is Avril ‘Bombardment’ Lawson.

Hazel:

I think this is the least painted car I’ve ever seen her in.

Fisher:

She is quite the artist! I hear she’s working on something for next year’s cup…

Round 3

Hazel:

I think this is the first time we’ve seen Leader dice in play, isn’t it?

Fisher:

I believe so. As this is a Gravel track, that means whoever is in first has the disadvantage of having to brave the terrain. This added difficulty is represented by those yellow-orange dice and their additional Caution symbols.

Hazel:

So if Avril manages to catch up to Will?

Fisher:

She’ll be using the more dangerous dice, which isn’t good for her and she has more Coast dice, thus more of a margin for error.

Hazel:

That will be a tricky balance, managing her lack of top gear capping out at Gear 4 with her added range of 3 Coast dice but NOT just zooming past.

Fisher:

The joys of a technical track, I suppose. One of the interesting twists is seeing how the drivers ahead of you navigated, and trying to improve on it.

Hazel:

And who better to show us this than Frederick ‘Boowhard’ William from Not Fast But Furious.

Fisher:

His Fiat 131 Abarth is the other R4 in today’s race, so we’ll see how he copies Avril’s art and where he deviates.

Hazel:

I would think he has a pretty unique perspective, as he announces the junior karting league and gets to see the new generation of racers before they hit the real track.

Round 4

Fisher:

So far, Blowhard might be taking his own route but he’s ending up in the same destination as Bombardment, so who knows.

Hazel:

Maybe the glory will belong to the next generation, as we have Alva Sullivan — one of those former kart racers — joining the melee.

Fisher:

His Ford Fiesta WRC is the most powerful car on the track right now, a BIG step up from the karts, but with all the corners will we even see Gear 6 this race?

Hazel:

No, not this early at least.

Round 5

Fisher:

It’s starting to heat up, with Bombardment seeing how close she can get to the line with Viper.

Hazel:

That Boost die has worked overtime for Pumped Up Kits in the past, but it doesn’t look like it’s as much help today.

Fisher:

No it does not, both R4s showing off their maneuverability this turn. I think knowing when to drift and when to chase the line will decide who’s on the podium and who isn’t today.

Hazel:

Don’t be too sure, we don’t even have everyone on the l track yet! Joining us this round is Abraham ‘Annex’ Perkins though.

Fisher:

That’s right, and the Toyota Celica TwinCam Turbo from Van Hailin’ is an R5 like Viper’s MG Metro 6R4, but without the penalty of the Leader dice. Will that make a difference?

Hazel:

Have we even seen a tire pop this race?

Fisher:

No, but this is only the first of three stages, so there’s still quite a bit of road ahead of us.

Hazel:

Ironic, as we’re actually OFF road today…

Round 6

Fisher:

I know we need to check the clock, but for Bombardment to cross the line right behind Viper has to make Will nervous.

Hazel:

And Blowhard right there too? The R4s are tearing it up today.

Fisher:

They are, but you know what else is dramatic? That Toyota Yaris WRC that just got on the course…

Hazel:

Why, because Daryl ‘Merciless’ Hill is driving it for Baby Got Track?

Fisher:

Yeah, do you think that’s weird around the holidays for that family?

Hazel:

It’s gotta be. Peter Hill is team captain for Kickin Assphalt, but his little brother, best friend, and mentee are all Baby Got Back?

Fisher:

So Peter is the blue sheep of the family?

Hazel:

…

Round 7

Fisher:

Blowhard does cross over third. I think for him to be that close and starting further back says a lot.

Hazel:

It’s true. And with half the cars over the line, we should know soon.

Fisher:

Alva and Annex making steady progress.

Hazel:

‘Merciless’ Hill gets a Loss of Control, but instead of the chart, we flip his timecard to check…

Fisher:

A SISU result! He recovers perfectly! No loss of time or damage to the Yaris. Impressive!

Hazel:

The look of defeat on Esmaeel Boromand’s face is crushing. He had the Sun Rise Towing wrecker all warmed up and ready to pick up the Yaris, too. Tragic.

Round 8

Fisher:

I see he got the wrecker closer, just in case… Or is it a threat?

Hazel:

Maybe! But with Alva Sullivan over the line, there are only two cars left on the course so his window of opportunity is closing.

Round 9

Fisher:

Annex is over the line now, putting Sun Rise Towing in his rear view.

Round 10

Hazel:

And with Merciless in Assistance, that means we can check the times and declare the winner…

WINNERS CIRCLE

Fisher:

And with a time of 1 minute, 55 seconds, Alva Sullivan takes the win for Special Stage 1!

Hazel:

Thanks to that SISU maneuver, Daryl ‘Merciless’ Hill had 1:55 as well for second place, and Avril ‘Bombardment’ Lawson took third with 2:10.

Fisher:

I can’t wait to see how this stacks up in Special Stage 2, coming up next!

1. Kickin Assphalt (Blue) – Alva Sullivan in the blue Ford Fiesta WRC (R6) – 1:55
2. Baby Got Track (Yellow) – Daryl ‘Merciless’ Hill in the yellow Toyota Yaris WRC (R6) – 1:55
3. Race Ventura (Purple) – Avril ‘Bombardment’ Lawson in the purple Ford Escort MkII (R4) – 2:10
4. Van Hailin’ (Orange) – Abraham ‘Annex’ Perkins in the orange Toyota Celica TwinCam Turbo (R5) – 2:15
5. Not Fast But Furious (Red) – Frederick ‘Blowhard’ William in the red Fiat 131 Abarth (R4) – 2:20
6. Pumped Up Kits (Green) – Will ‘the Viper’ Pace in the green MG Metro 6R4 (R5) – 3:10