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Headbanger’s Eightball

Posted on January 4, 2022July 30, 2023 by Big Mike's Garage
The Chasing Paper Anniversary Cup
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EVENT RULES

  • GUMBALL MACHINE: Racers were determined by random pulls, and are using their listed Racer Roster specs.
  • HEATED WHEELS: All racers go FLAT OUT each turn but gain no Focus. Course trajectory is laid out after the roll is made, and caution results are still observed.
  • NON-ALCOHOLIC: This race is for fun and not meant to be too serious. Rules judgement and enforcement is relaxed accordingly. 
  • NECESSARY ROUGHNESS: This event is full-contact. Shunting, T-Boning, and Pushing Through.

STARTING POSITIONS

  1. Newman ‘Gray Beard’ Withers in the gray Hognose (#0054, R5)
  2. Jamie ‘Doc’ Lowery in the brown Rat Rod (#0117, GT-4)
  3. Lars ‘Cannonball’ Morris in the red Adventure Truck (#0097, R5)
  4. Christina ‘the Thinker’ Holmes in the blue Adventure Truck (#0270, R5)

CANDLEKEEP COVE RACEWAY – CUSTOM TRACK (ASPHALT – DRY)

Fisher:

We’ve got a Figure 8 track today, and our racers are going to have to complete 2 laps.

Round 1

Round 2

Round 3

Hazel:

The Thinker taking advantage of the bottle neck at the chicane to catch up and squeeze in, but will that get her ahead?

Fisher:

If she would have gotten one space further, that would have worked.

Round 4

Round 5

Hazel:

Now The Thinker’s faster Adventure Truck is an advantage, as Doc’s Rat Rod can’t get up to passing speed and is now stuck in back.

Round 6

Fisher:

The Thinker is playing impressive defense to keep Doc in her back pocket.

Hazel:

Yup! But Newman Withers in the Hognose is a snout ahead of Lars Morris now! We got a new leader, but for how long?

Round 7

Fisher:

And now they switched back, Cannonball and Doc ahead of Graybeard and The Thinker.

Hazel:

This event is two laps, we’re not quite halfway yet, still a lot of road to go!

Round 8

Round 9

Round 10

Hazel:

Christina with another aggressive move, putting the pedal down to catch up!

Fisher:

She’s going too fast to push Newman or Lars aside, but she can keep Dr. Jamie Lowry in back still. It’s about balance!

Hazel:

Cannonball and Graybeard dancing nose-to-nose crossing the lap line.

Fisher:

Now we’re half way, and despite the green flag given for full contact racing, we haven’t had any such display.

Hazel:

Not for lack of Christina’s trying!

Round 11

Round 12

Hazel:

Looks like you got your wish! Cannonball slams into Graybeard, shoving him between the chicane!

Fisher:

Oof! Cannonball looks fine, but Graybeard took some frame damage, he’ll be feeling that on future rolls with one less Coast die to use.

Round 13

Round 14

Round 15

Hazel:

Graybeard may be slower, but having the inside lane let him cut off Cannonball and pin him in that corner.

Round 16

Hazel:

So, we didn’t discuss yet how the randomly chosen racers turned out to be three R5s and one GT-4. To even the playing field, we gave Doc one use of SISU. He’s using that now to ignore all caution results.

Round 17

Round 18

Round 19

Fisher:

And the headbanger himself, Cannonball takes first!

Hazel:

Cannonball was also featured in the Trucks vs Bikes Dirt Rally! where he took 2nd, so this is a big up for him!

Round 20

Hazel:

Oof, and The Thinker and Doc team up to box poor Graybeard in. Even the fight for 2nd place is going to be bloody.

Fisher:

Second is where Doc came in last time during the Mini Car Expo!. Will Dr. Lowry beat his old placement?

Round 21

Round 22

Fisher:

And the rest of the racers cross the line, so close together!

Hazel:

Checking the tapes, we have The Thinker in second, Graybeard in 3rd, and Doc in 4th.

WINNERS CIRCLE

  1. Lars ‘Cannonball’ Morris in the red Adventure Truck (#0097, R5)
  2. Christina ‘the Thinker’ Holmes in the blue Adventure Truck (#0270, R5)
  3. Newman ‘Gray Beard’ Withers in the gray Hognose (#0054, R5)
  4. Jamie ‘Doc’ Lowery in the brown Rat Rod (#0117, GT-4)

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